Approximately two months ago I got two grams of DMT. I was elated, following several years of searching for this. I had really wanted it at the first place but had settled for various other dialkyl tryptamines over the previous 3 years that had brought me a wealth of interesting and amazing experiences. I tried a few moderately succesful yage journeys that had shown me that the potentials of this mindspaces available through DMT. But I have been perhaps somewhat cowardly about inflicting the bodily ramifications of Yage on myself , though I longed to visit the psychological territory .The package arrived one sunny April morning after I had a day off. I loaded a joint using a little dose of the white freebase powder and then sparked it.
An instantaneous warm buzzing around my neck and shoulders followed closely the bite of this unpleasant smoke onto my lungs, and my eyesight gently morphed with nice horizontal seams like a venetian blind, every band tinting reality either red green or blue in alternating sequence. Intuitively I felt a feeling of potential energy, and significance although as the encounter quickly dissipated I was strongly conscious of the flavor of plastic and protests of my long suffering lungs.Five minutes or so later an old friend from whom I had not heard for decades called out of the blue to mention they had been moving overseas. I’d heard talk about synchronicities on chatboards etc before but I have a tendency to the skeptic side on such issues. In my mind about why I have an interest in the situation of how psychedelics, I take the view that you have to seperate clearly in your mind the normal workaday life of a 21st century westerner, and the dreamworld that psychedelics can disclose. I really don’t believe in ghosts and ufo’s etc during normal life.
I remain somewhat wary of these believers with a glint in their eye that abandon their lives entirely to the pursuit of one conspiracy or some other. Whether or not the term’actual’ can be utilised in reference to a state where these distinct parameters apply is a moot point. When I am in such a state I may too socialize with it, if only in the interest of novelty or knowledge.In the afternoon I purchased a glass pipe with a tiny side hole and some vials in the local head shop. With this new equipment I decided to research farther. I put some dry tobacco within the body of the pipe together with some spice and held it over a candle to heat the pipe. I made several efforts similar to this with varying successes. I frequently complex the lift off by fretting about the safety of the candle flame.
I discovered music distracting. A singer’s voice could be morphed into a metalic jabbering.These initial journeys were short and difficult to integrate. The rapidity of the visions was such that only the general tenor of the material was discernable. It seemed to have a menacing tone, comprising images like playing cards flashing by, skulls, military components, screws. Just a quick image frame amongst many. I’d undergone an almost identical state as this latter phase using 4 AcO-DMT and felt very comfortable. Then I feel a little guilty and ship out good wishes to all of the folks I don’t love. Eventually I feel really virtuous all round.When back in the sober state my entire brain has a good laugh at these religious epiphanies. This is what I like about psychedelics. They let me experiment with possibilities which in the actual world are not chances. For instance the question’What might it be like to burst a sack full of dimensions onto your mind?’ But under the effect, and you could be lucky enough to participate in some kind of encounter where this actually appears to take place.I frequently found myself swaying softly with my arms folded and a hot grin over my head.
Almost bowing to the world in satisfied bliss. I took one struck in the kitchen at the rear part of my house overlooking our back garden which has many pleasant trees, some still in blossom. The good sunshine that evening gave the foliage a translucent light. In the kitchen I warmed the pipe over the gas hob. The drawback of my strategy seemed to be that it resulted in quite some wastage. I needed to cover the side gap on the tube to achieve a more powerful negative pressure which causes a more effective vapourisation. No matter how the pipe was sexy to touch and so again I was approaching the leap using a sloppy mindstate. I managed two tokes, holding the final in, but maybe not sure of its adequacy. The spike started and I watched the kitchen components dance before my eyes, sliding along left right in outline shape, neon coloured reds greens and blues.
I looked at the stove whose control surface would duplicate together all the components squeezed back and forth. Then I looked in the microwave on the work surface, who/which was laughing in these strange diplays.Instantly I beheld the abrupt exchange of stimulation or spurts of neon energy between it and the gascooker. At this point I had to laugh a bit. I had a sense that this performance was for my advantage . I recall thinking that if my Mrs’d walked in I would have pointed out what I was witnessing and said’would you look at the…’ very unselfconsciously as though it had been there to see plain as daylight.I started to mention that my technique was likely faulty and wasteful.
The pipe became rather grubby. I didn’t wish to wash off remnants of the prior burnoff, but I understood that the remnants would immediately degrade anyway vulnerable to air. I had been getting toward the end of my spice also, so I left further dispatches to Arrakis, to whom the people of that civilization I am eternally indebted. In the knowledge of almost certain replenishment, I decided to purchase a more successful pipe and make the very best of what had been left to me in the time. I discovered a light bulb design vapouriser which matched the prescription absolutely at a penny under a #5 in the headshop. Such as 4-AcO DMT and DPT.This vapouriser I tested in the kitchen above a hob. I was a little apprehensive because I was chewing through the sinister tone a few of the dreams I’d experienced. I wondered if this was the thin end of the leash and by getting a very big chestfull I was just likely to delve deeper into something menacing that I did not want to see. I couldn’t reconcile this anxiety with all the wonderfull blissful sense of becoming I had been experiencing in the afterglow. I wondered whether it had been a part of myself that I was genuinely frightened to look at. The voice of logic told me that whatever occurs is over almost as quickly as it starts, which gave me a sense of strength moving in.The heat melted the mild yellowish tinted crystals to a colourless pool which gathered at the base of the bulb.
I watched white vapour uncoiling round the glass as the bulb became opaque. I drew slowly one long potent lungful as I did so that the vapour billowed more furiously. My lips and tongue numbed and my respiratory pipes stung somewhat as I stuffed up. Eyes opened I placed the still billowing bulb down on a cold hob and turned off the heat. As I did this the room tinted yellow sepia, and I shut my eyes searching for a slide show. I was instantly disappointed. Only the womblike condition with some excess patterning, but the hot crescendo of buzzing both audible and physical spread throughout my throat and shoulders, followed by a really little crack or snap from somewhere within my auditory canal.For a short while I was not strictly local. I dont recall events as such, only a sensation of being someplace between my kitchen and the dreamworld. Subsequently this lack of self was burst with a small patch of vivid vision. Like the opinion through a tiny hole in the wall of a darkened room outside on to the scene onto a bright summer day. I gasped involuntarily, startled by the many implications of the vision.
The stylistic look of these scenes were partly culturally comfortable, and at precisely the exact same time slightly skewed. I had been startled out of phase with all the vision, but I was exhilarated and back in the afterglow where I started giving praise into the universe for that which I could just invent as the privelege of what I had seen.The issue of intentionality came up again in my mind. It felt as though I were shown these things by the large whatever. I lightly swayed on the stool and basked in the beautiful concept that the world was far more bizarre and comedic than I could ever have imagined. I’d gasped in the ontological ramification that I might have seen a different world or a parallel universe. I felt certain for a few moments inside that I had seen evidence that worlds and culture not particularly unlike our own, or sharing certain evolutionary or ecological parameter existed, and there might even be lots of them. This was not the type of revelation that transposes nicely into conversation so I kept my council to myself. My Mrs doesn’t approve of my little hobby very much, but for all the proper reasons, because she cares about me, so I really don’t recite her my adventures.The general effect of all this DMT smoking was strangely positive. I’m conscious of this power of suggestion in potentially shaping the experiences we have. I think that it was Hume who surmised that we’re the sum of our experiences. I felt almost virtuous not to have seen entities which could be explained as self transforming machine elves, although that isn’t to say that I was in any position to doubt the subjective facts of these descriptions. But I’d felt what seemed to me divine pressence, and visualised abstract entities in the wide mind space of closed eyes with a strong light source. And I had witnessed something which had startled me to the heart of me in a deeply satisfying manner, although I could not fathom its own significance. It could have been many possible or impossible things and called to obey a reality across the lines of Michael Moorcock’s Multiverse.I also noticed a feeling of well being in entire life, which I have heard reported, and then may be a result of preconditioning. I discovered that a part of me thinking that everybody should have a blast with this stuff at least one time. A cliché, I understand. I also imagined the potential for a worldwide pyramid selling scheme by which an alien race could prepare humanity for contact. This tickled me, since in my newfound openess to the parameters of altered space, such a conspiracy might be impossible to disprove. I felt improved compassion with even the people I possibly disliked, and tangible antidepressant effect. Not that I am generally depressive nowadays. But there is something to this.I would just complain that my torso has been taking a beating. There is a peculiar logic that it appears that the more successful a hit that I achieve, the less troublesome my chest is. I cough up some balls from the aftermath, and the flavor doesn’t offend me .My next consignment arrived a week after that last trip. Excitement boil, I prepared myself for more adventures. I had been confronted with a problem.
The experience, I felt honestly in my heart, was’A fantastic Thing’ as far as I could see. It appeared to open my thoughts on a religious level which chimed favorably with the sections of my upbringing which I still respect, and the Buddhist thoughts I had been reading about recently. It gave me thrilling journeys and imaginings which I wished I could record or describe, and would be grist to some thoughts with a soft spot for science fiction. Additionally, I felt the experiences comprised a showing or an discovering, on account of the perception of goodwill between trips. Something may be captured within my memory in 1 experience and at another one I might seek to hone in on this image and it could blossom itself to several chances. However, it is expensive to get and woefully illegal. I can not see how it can be lawful like tobacco or beer. It’s simply too powerful. I was pretty scared by what seemed hellish imagery in the first part of my adventures, and it almost appeared to be warning me off. I don’t like to break the law. I just do so concerning weed and my’research’. I really don’t rate and I’m at peace with myself all the time morally. I was studying about Alan Watts, a religious academic and Buddhist who at one point said’once you’ve gotten the message, hang up the phone’ in regard to psychedelics. I agreed with these words but sure that I had not yet got the message. I certainly wanted to find out more.With this in mind I decided to learn more about the present two gram I’d and purchase five which I would pack and freeze with the additional samples for a distant future time when I felt the impulse. I had a hunch this might be just short window of availability, and that the privelege of the opportunity might soon be gone.
I’d bought a gas turbo lighter to provide a safe but effective heat source. If for whatever reason you let go of it, then it goes out, so the prospect of dying from burns as you’re on the brink of universal knowledge is avoided. Additionally it starts the vaporisation very fast and you’re able to lessen the heat (in case your throat is damaging ) by raising the flame space.I got comfy on a really soft seat in my converted garage. I’d strong spotlights on the ceiling pointed into my mind. These aid embolden the colours of the closed eye visuals giving garish hues into the visual area. I must have handled a long, cool, slow breathful because I managed to calmly hold it for what looked like a lengthy time. I managed to dispose of this bulb and lighter at a civilised fashion and close my eyes expectantly. My ego was dissolved again following a short cavalcade of pageantry and carnival, of which I was no more fearful. But I was non local, or in dimensional interstices.To the right of my mind space proved to be a blue bulk. The blue color was around the thing, (like an amniotic sack). I moved my head towards it and I burst in the sack that fell away enough for the entity and myself to create some kind of contact. (Length of disbelief obligatory at this stage ) I felt a blue sheen spreading over my own body which was rigid but gently juddering with a fine tremor like that I’ve experienced with DPT.
Additionally, I became aware that I was pulsing and stretching thythmically besides the fine tremor, fitting the oscillations of this entity to my right.
When I did this in phase with it, the spaces between the strata of its winding shape widened, and the stones inside revealed even more vibrant crystal surfaces. It was through these surfaces I again glimpsed the odd world that I had noticed that previous moment. The more my body paired the thing’s dance the larger one of these crystal windows became, satisfying my thoughts eye and nearly breaking through into the spectacle beheld.
A glowing 1950s suburban street, somewhere far across the universe. This stage of physical motion and extreme vision was accompanied with a strange feeling of flashes of sudden coldness, which instinct told me was something related to interacting with the entity. Although I didn’t fear for my life or any extreme drama, it had been enough to divert me and the familiarity with my guest (s) diminished. I was still in the far off state and spent a while swaying and basking at the moments of grace. My eyes stayed closed nonetheless, though I occasionally flashed a peek at the room around which neon sparks flitted. I’d begun to entertain the possibility that the thing might in reality be utilizing my curiousity to lure me in to contact.
There might be no doors into other universes, simply beings utilizing extensive kitsch simulations of such worlds to lure psychonauts to their own mysterious ends. This might explain the somewhat skewed stylistic tone of the visions. I also had to admit there was an almost sexual angle to these experiences, a characteristic I had noticed on several occasions when I had used’epic doses’ of 4 AcO DMT. I also became conscious about how much dance and bodily conditions play a part in the shamanic phenomenon.With what I had learned I managed to reproduce a very similar experience. The dance lasted maybe longer, and that I persevered the chilly spells, so that I got a clearer view to the crystal which I locked onto. I noticed that the other crystals comprise a simillar scene, which might have been slightly different, like cinema film stock, I couldn’t tell, since I could just look closely through one crystal at a time.
The thing itself is difficult to explain in great detail. In this trip, I discovered a neon green amniotic sack in addition to the first blue one I was familiar with. I did not have an opportunity through the time available to explore the possibilities with this particular thing although I felt it had been of a species together with the first. As I returned to consensus reality I sent my now habitual spat out and wished all souls well. I decided to hang up the phone for a while, until I was in a position to record and describe some of the things I was able to encounter. There was still much I wanted to try. I’d not gone for the notorious’third toke’. I had grudgingly come to understand the expression’self transforming machine elves’ with greater intimacy. I have been astounded by how this drug is so special and unspecific at the same moment. And how difficult the game of memory could be, when the recollection of what happened evaporates like a dream at wakening.
Because of the similarity I have noticed between the post breakthrough phase of DMT and my experience of a good dose of 4AcO-DMT, I’m speculating about using the AcO ester as a springboard into the DMT area. I have not got around to this yet, nor a travel that I am postulating with 5g 10:1 White Caapi extract I have, to allow oral ingestion. Right now, I am pleased to vapourise on account of this streamlined timescale. I am not contemplating the nasal trail or plugging since I possess the freebase and the two paths are reputedly unpleasant, but I’m not too squeamish generally.This material is both humbling and exalting. It shows me just how little I actually know about the world and realty, but gives a sense of pleasure at the little part I play in it.